What is Compassionate Communication?

Simply put, Compassionate Communication (CC) alternatively known as Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a way of relating to ourselves and others, moment to moment, free of past reactions.  By learning to identify your needs and express them powerfully, as well as to bring understanding to the needs of others, you can stay connected to your ‘authentic self’.

This approach to communication emphasizes compassion as the motivation for action rather than fear, guilt, shame, blame, coercion, threat or justification for punishment.  NVC is NOT about getting people to do what we want.  It is about creating a quality of connection that gets everyone’s needs met through compassionate giving.

Discipline can be a very confusing area in parenting.  CC/NVC explores what it means to be a true ‘authority’ in your children’s lives.  True discipline is not trying to control another’s behaviour but rather to have the skills to model what we are wanting our children to learn.  We cannot control anyone’s behaviour, only our own.  

“What we are teaches the child more than what we say, so we must be what we want our children to become” 

Joseph Chiltern Pearce

We can learn to decode children’s behaviour, which is their communication, and respond to unmet needs rather than react to the behaviour.

It contains nothing new; all that has been integrated into CC/NVC has been known for centuries.  The intent is to remind us about what we already know.

CC/NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions.

Most parents long for a peaceful home and heart.  To calm our own hearts and unlearn the habit of self disconnection is the first step.

Peace is not the absence of difficulties or challenges but a way of living and relating where we have no enemies to struggle with or no battles to win.